Gray Matter


Pregnancy Questions and Answers

RT Cunningham | August 6, 2020 (UTC) | Humor

Pregnancy Q&AMy younger daughter-in-law, Cathy, who’s married to my younger son, Jon, gave birth to their first child in June 2020.

Needless to say, but I’ll say it anyway, Cathy had a lot of pregnancy-related items appearing in her Facebook and Instagram feeds all during her pregnancy. This pregnancy question and answer list is probably the funniest I’ve seen in a while. It’s one of a several lists I posted that came from Facebook. There’s one here and another here.

Pregnancy Questions and Answers

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children are more than enough.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the phrase “child support” means nothing to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy again.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

The Next Step is Rearing the Child

Cathy has no idea what she’s in for, this being her first and possibly only child. I’ve probably experienced more than she has, and pregnancy is a woman thing.

I did a lot for Jon and Cathy while Cathy was pregnant. There’s one thing that I will not do. I will not be changing any diapers. She and they (including my wife, Josie) will be incredibly lucky if they see me even holding the baby.

Photo Attribution: Free-Photos from Pixabay
Edited and updated. Originally published at one of my other websites in October 2019.

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