I’m experiencing a general lack of enthusiasm and motivation, and it isn’t the first time. It’s happened quite a few times over the last couple of years, since before the pandemic affected me in any way. My recent feeble attempts at finding something that interests me, that translates into something that interests you, have failed miserably.
If you browse through the categories and tags, you might think I have many interests. It simply isn’t true. My interests change often enough (or did) to make it look like I have more than a few. I’m now in my senior years, and there are a lot of things I simply can’t do anymore (like running). Or don’t want to do anymore (like traveling). Unfortunately, I end up spending too much time doing things I don’t want to do.
My interests today revolve around the things I try to write about, and I’m not always successful. My number one interest, obviously, is writing about one thing or another. In other words, blogging. I try to stay focused on one thing at a time, but distractions and events always seem to shift my focus to something else.
What routine? Other than waking up in the morning and going to sleep at night, I don’t really have one. I drink coffee in the morning, unless I can’t for some reason. My wife, Josie, thinks I drink too much coffee if I have more than two cups in a single day.
I try to squeeze in at least a half an hour of some kind of exercise during the day, but I spend most of my time sitting in front of a keyboard, doing one thing or another online. Despite doing busy stuff, I spend very little time on social media or perusing news sites. That stuff is toxic and ruins my day if I experience too much of it.
I like to drink liquor in the evening for various reasons, but not more than two or three drinks. It replaces certain medications I’ll never use. If I take more than three ibuprofen tablets in a day for arthritis in my right elbow, something is seriously wrong. I rarely take acetaminophen because I rarely get headaches.
Lately, my interests include Linux distribution testing, and there are hundreds of distributions. I like choices. Even though I’m satisfied with what I’m using now, I may discover something better if I keep testing. Testing a Linux distribution takes more time than it should, but I don’t have a lot of hardware available to me.
I like working with computer hardware, when I can afford it. Even though I’m usually asking for trouble, I even take my laptop computers apart for one reason or another. I need to open up the one I’m using and replace the hard disk drive with a solid state drive. Using the hard disk drive for anything but storage makes me want to get out and push. Using it with VirtualBox is torture.
I like to read, but I don’t have the patience to read novels anymore. I like to watch movies and certain television series, but not as often as you might expect. It’s amazing when I watch more than one TV series at a time or more than one movie in a week. The only video game I play regularly is Solitaire on my laptop. I don’t use gaming consoles for anything.
For years, I posted multiple times on multiple websites. Then one day, I stopped posting so often. Today, I follow no routine with anything I post. I may post days in a row and I may skip several days, or weeks. There doesn’t seem to be anything to be enthusiastic about. It’s hard to be motivated when there isn’t anything to motivate me. I’ve been self-motivated for years.
I don’t know what’s coming next, or if I’ll ever be able to get back home. This pandemic makes everything hard even harder. Don’t look for anything inspiring from my direction anytime soon.