Important Life Facts to Remember as You Get Older
I come across many lists of facts like this when I’m surfing from site to site on the web. Most of the items are regurgitated copies of older items.
I’m presenting two lists, the first longer than the second. The first list is supposed to be funny while the second isn’t supposed to be funny.
Funny Life Facts
- Death is the number one killer in this world.
- Life is sexually transmitted.
- Men have two motivations: Hunger and sex, and women can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
- Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to use the internet, and he won’t bother you for weeks, months or maybe years.
- Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set that same man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
- Good health is merely the slowest possible way at which you can die.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- In the 1960s, people took LSD to make the world seem weird. Now that the world is proven weird, people take Prozac to make it seem normal.
- Life is like a jar of jalapeño peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
Facts and Suggestions
- Don’t lend money to a member of your family. Give it. If you can’t afford to give it, you can’t afford to lend it.
- Don’t take part in gossip. Some people like to talk about others but hate it when the situation is reversed.
- No matter how mad you get at a member of your family, keep it in the family.
- Learn to listen. Most people like to talk about themselves.
- Learn to be patient and relaxed.
- Never stop learning new skills.
- Don’t buy things you can’t afford.
Put everything you see and hear into the proper perspectives. You’ll live longer and enjoy life more. That’s what I always try to do.
Photo Attribution: Tom from Pixabay
Edited and updated. Originally published at one of my other websites in September 2017.
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