Gray Matter


Cell Phone Zombies Are Everywhere

RT Cunningham | August 5, 2020 (UTC) | Phones

cell phone zombiesThere will never be a zombie apocalypse, unless you call them cell phone zombies (or smartphone zombies). If you do, the zombie apocalypse is already in full swing.

Although I have a cell phone, I’m not one of them. It sits on my computer desk most of the time. I sometimes receive regular text messages, but I rarely receive regular phone calls on it. You can probably tell I’m not a sociable person.

When I go out, it sits inside my messenger bag unless I need to call someone or someone calls me. Basically, I use it as nothing more than a phone when I’m away from home.

Identifying Cell Phone Zombies

If two or more people are sitting together in a public place and each of them are fixated on a cell phone screen, and not talking to each other, they’re cell phone zombies. If two are more people are eating dinner together and each of them are fixated on a cell phone screen, and not talking to each other, the’re cell phone zombies.

Anyone who walks anywhere in a public place while looking at a cell phone, impervious to surroundings, is a cell phone zombie.

My Wife is a Cell Phone Zombie

Josie spends way more time on her cell phone than I do. If you complain about how long the cell phone battery lasts, you’re definitely a cell phone zombie.

She gets on her phone multiple times a day. Before she goes to sleep, when she wakes up while sleeping, and when she wakes up in the morning. She will sometimes spend more than an hour at a time staring at the screen. She’ll even sometimes grab my cell phone to check something while listening to what she should be watching.

To be fair, Josie spends most of her cell phone time watching Filipino dramas because she can’t watch them anywhere else.

My Younger Son is a Cell Phone Zombie

Jon is the epitome of a cell phone zombie. It’s like an extra appendage attached to his left hand. When he’s not texting with the people he works with (using WhatsApp, I believe), he’s playing games on it. He rarely answers the phone (it’s usually on mute) or checks his text messages. He’s a cell phone zombie with a cell phone addiction.

The only time Jon’s not actually looking at his phone is when he’s working (and I can’t even be sure of that), sleeping or playing yet another game on his PlayStation console.

My Daughter-in-Law is a Cell Phone Zombie

Cathy isn’t as bad as Jon, but her cell phone can also be an extra appendage. Even when we’re watching our wide-screen TV, she has it sitting on her lap, or she’s holding it in her hands. God forbid she should miss something online while watching a movie or TV show on something other than her cell phone.

I Blame the Social Networks for All the Cell Phone Zombies

More specifically, I blame Facebook. As much as Josie complains about the things she sees on it, she spends a lot of time on it. She doesn’t have an Instagram or Twitter account.

Cathy spends much of her time on either Facebook or Instagram. It’s not Facebook itself that’s the issue. It’s the stupid videos people keep posting and sharing. Regular posts, without videos or pictures, get ignored more often than not.

I don’t know what to do to turn cell phone zombies back into regular people. Whatever I try to do just seems to make them angry.

Photo Attribution: Gary Cassel from Pixabay

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